Tim Schmoyer and the Dark Side of YouTube, Fame and Success…

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Hey everybody, this is Roberta
Blake help you create something

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awesome today with the amazing
and talented Tim Schmoyer, my

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good friend.
How are you doing?

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Today I'm all right.
I preferred your first intro

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though, no?
Maybe that'll be in a blooper.

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Reel of some kind, but we're
here at social media marketing

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world, hanging out, catching up.
After the last conference we

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were at, Tim, I wanted to talk
with you about something a

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little bit more serious that the
audience might enjoy and

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everything like that.
You've been a content creator

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for how long, Tim?
I started 2006.

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So OG original YouTube.
Right after YouTube launched a

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few months later.
Yeah, so that would be about

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like 17, almost 18 years now.
Really.

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Yeah, it's been that long, dude.
We're coming up on like. 2006

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yeah, 16 to 23.
Wow.

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Yeah, it's been a while, dude.
That's I did not realize that.

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No, right.
And you've seen like you've seen

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like 3 different YouTube CEO
changes.

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You've been there, you've seen
it all, largely done it all.

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I would say at the point, tell
me something, Tim, like in terms

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of like creators and having a
long lasting career as a content

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creator, what are like some of
the ups and downs and like

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what's the real stuff that most
people don't talk about or don't

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see behind the scenes?
That's a load of.

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Question.
See, there's the.

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There's a lot to that.
There's a lot.

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So there's a lot of good stuff.
You know, I've, I'll say this

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humbly, made more money than I
ever thought I would ever make

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in my entire life.
You know, same ever when I first

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started on YouTube, I was making
$14,600 a year full time.

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You know, just got married.
So my wife had the work and but

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and I thought, you know, as a
career wise.

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Literally like college kids
slave wages my friends I was.

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Doing I was a youth pastor at
the time in the church and they

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offered that's what they paid
and for some reason I should not

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have said yes, but I did, you
know, so that's a whole other

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issue.
But, and so there's there's

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certainly that which sounds like
it's a huge perk and it is in

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some ways, but there's the the
same more, more money, more

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problems.
More money, different problems

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is like what it really comes
down to.

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Most people do not realize that.
Is very much true as well.

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So there's, there's a so that's,
that's a plus side of it.

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Another plus side is I get to
meet and hang out with amazing

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other people and a lot of my
friends and my relational

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network is wrapped up in this.
Niche or same?

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I've met creators, the best
people in my life, because of

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this, yeah.
Yeah.

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And I also really like that I
get to serve people with content

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at scale in some way of creating
content that really helps

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people.
And my mission is reach people

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and change their lives and try
to make content and train other

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people to do that too with their
content so that we can all make

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the world a better place than it
was before with through this

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medium.
So there's certainly a lot of

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perks to it and I don't.
So I want to start there before

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the rest of this goes, you know,
so there's a well, most people I

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feel like are looking at being a
full time YouTube creator and,

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and things like they have a lot
of stars in their eyes.

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And, and, and it's kind of like
when you're a native kid, you're

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native kid.
Yeah, 8484, OK.

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Don't worry about the same age,
right?

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80 yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I it was like when we were

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growing up it was like being a
rock star, yeah.

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And and then it was like being a
movie star, you know, And then I

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was like being a YouTube star.
And on the outside like that

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stuff looks awesome.
And there is a lot of good good

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you could.
But it's like, you can do it the

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world, but it's like being a
Disney kid and everything like

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that.
It's like, oh man, gotta go

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crazy afterward.
Yeah.

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So I guess kind of jump into the
the weeds of this and part of my

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story is that after making about
4500 videos across 9 channels

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over the course of thirteen
years, this is a few years ago

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now.
I woke up in the middle of the

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night just with a like it felt
like my stomach was just

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clamping down on this double
edged knife.

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I looked like it was like 3 in
the morning and I expected to

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see like something poking out of
both sides of my body.

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Right.
You expected some gruesomeness

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to be like.
I've never felt anything like

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before.
Yeah, no.

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It was like I swallowed it and
it was like, anyway.

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And like when someone was
constricting, it was terrible.

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And I couldn't stand up.
I got out of the bed, I rolled

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out of the bed and I literally
crawl across our bedroom floor

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going to the bathroom thinking
like, yeah, I don't know.

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Yeah, it wasn't that.
And then it was getting worse.

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And so I was like, ended up like
army crawling across our

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bathroom floor, across our, our
bedroom trying to wake up my

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wife.
And she's like, what are you

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doing?
Like I'm on the floor, like

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pulling on the sheets, you know,
trying to wake her up and she's

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like, what are you doing?
I'm like, I got out of the

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hospital.
I'm not.

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And I'm not like, I'm pretty
high pain tellers.

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I in fact at that point hadn't
seen a doctor in like 6 years,

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you know, so.
Go see a doctor, everybody.

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Well, yeah.
And that turned out to be a

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problem because I couldn't go
see the doctor later because I

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had to start over like the new
patient survey and.

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Like all that stuff all.
Over again before I could get.

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Yeah, this.
See, This is why you got to go

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and do the physical every year
and everything like that,

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Roberto says.
As he hasn't actually done it.

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And like, easy to preach, yes,
so.

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So anyway, call the doctor and
call and by the time they, they

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called back about half hour
later and the pain was

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subsiding, thankfully.
So I didn't go to the emergency

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room, but I did go see a doctor
and I did see a therapist also

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because I was like, I don't
know.

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And, and both of them were like,
do you have any stress in your

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life?
And I'm like, no, not, not

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really.
Like I feel fine.

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And they're like, well, tell me
what's going on.

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And so I started telling them
like, you don't have any stress

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in your life.
I'm like, no, they're like, you

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are in denial.
Like, OK, what are you talking

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about?
I was so good at burying that

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stuff and not feeling that
stuff, but my body was feeling

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that stuff.
Do you feel like, do you feel

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like a lot of us as like
entrepreneurs and content

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creators that like our, our
delusional like mindset allows

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us to like achieve like all
these great things, but then we

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also self delude and we don't
have a certain level of

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self-awareness sometimes.
I don't know.

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That's hard to say at like a
categorical level for me.

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Yeah, probably.
Yeah, I was, I was very much

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like put your head down and just
work and drive and go bigger and

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further, faster and.
Yeah, all the things.

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That's fine for a period or a
season of life, like if you're

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just launched out as a new
content creator and 1st and you

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just now became full time,
whatever, there's there's a.

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Like the season of hustle
season?

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Shouldn't like not making a
whole life 13 years of it.

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No, no, I would recommend just
kind of parenthetically here

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that that's your situation.
You put a date on the calendar

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that you and if you're married
your spouse think is appropriate

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of like you can hustle for this
long at this pace.

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But if this date comes and
you're not full time yet, or

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that date comes and we haven't,
you just go out like it doesn't

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matter.
We're backing off because

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sacrificing your life and your
health for this is totally.

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So now we're.
Yeah.

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So I ended up doing mostly
therapy and the physical stuff

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was stress related.
Person Therapy.

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And yeah, and so I meet with the
guy I used was vocal so but some

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it was sometimes over zoomed,
not all the time, but yeah.

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So depending on schedules and
things and travel and such.

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And the, the short story is that
I have been driving so hard for

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so long to sacrificing so many
other things that I didn't, my

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body just collapsed and
something had to give.

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Something had to like, I can't
keep going at that at that pace.

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And for me, the thing I gave up,
honestly, was content creation,

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you know, and thankfully, by
that time, I had a good

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sustainable business around the
channel.

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I wasn't the only host or
personality on it anymore.

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And right.
And I stepped away for six weeks

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pretty quickly at that point.
And the thing kept growing even

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without me.
And I came back after completely

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like I didn't even check in on
Slack or anything.

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I was like completely gone.
I had to decompress and, and

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came back and things were still
going great, which as a business

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owner, you're like, great,
that's awesome.

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Yeah.
I got to that point.

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For me, though, I was more like,
they don't need me, you know?

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And then there's another class
that I had to deal like, yeah.

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It's essential.
Crisis, lack of purpose,

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subconsciously sabotaging things
in the business so that you

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would feel needed.
Yeah.

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So these are the types of things
that you don't really think

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about as a content creator.
And I think being a content

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creator reveals so many
unhealthy beliefs we hold about

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ourselves.
Let me say this It can.

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It doesn't necessarily have to.
I think it generally has and.

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If you're open to it and open to
those, those conversations

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risking vulnerability, you know,
whether it's like, hey, I'm

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really doing this because I feel
insecure and I need the Internet

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to make me feel good about
myself, or I'm, I'm ultimately

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doing this not because I care
about people, because I care

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about money and I heard I could
get rich quick doing this or I'm

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ultimately doing this like why
like, and for me, I had a pretty

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good why I think your.
Motives and your like, you know

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what?
You reveal some of your motives,

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but also what drives you and
where your priorities might be

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in life.
Yeah, for whatever reason.

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I think it's important to be gut
level honest with yourself about

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what's really driving you,
What's, why are you actually

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doing this?
And if, if the thing that you're

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really chasing after went away,
like would you still be doing

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this?
What would you be chasing

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instead?
And it's, I think it's easy to

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look at the, at the numbers, at
the popularity, at the, at the

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money, at the, all the fame and
the fortune and stuff and be

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like, I want that.
And I get that, but that does

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come with a cost.
And this is maybe another story,

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but honestly part of the story
is I was away the trip a few

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years ago at a convention and I
came home.

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I wasn't sure if my wife and
kids would still be there.

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You know what made you have that
thought?

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What made you have that first
thought That when I get home, my

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family's going?
To it was it's a history.

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There's a history, a longer
story there, but my wife and I

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were going through as a lot of
junk was coming up for me.

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A lot of junk was coming up for
her too, and things that weren't

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unhealthy.
And me, we're impacting our

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family in ways I didn't, I I
couldn't have known before and

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couldn't have seen before going
through.

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A Was it just like you couldn't
know because you weren't present

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or because you weren't in the
mindset before therapy gave you

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like some tools?
It's because we all have wounds.

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We are all wounded somewhere by
someone or something at some

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time into like emotionally.
Yeah, especially as as kids when

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we're growing up, whether it's a
teacher or a parent or an uncle

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or a friend or whatever.
And we don't realize, Yeah, even

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if it's not like huge trauma,
like just like a, a series of

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lots of little hurts can add up
over.

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Time.
Oh, yeah, no, that's called

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like, yeah, you can fragment
things and everything like that.

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Things chip away at you, add up.
It like weakens the structure of

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anything.
Sure, there could be like an

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instance of child abuse or
neglect.

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00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,400
That would certainly be trauma,
but it could also be lots of

225
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,080
little things.
So those things add up and we

226
00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:59,920
and we Start learning how to
cope and deal with the world

227
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:02,400
around us based on those lenses
that we develop.

228
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And and when we're younger or
going through the pain, like

229
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those lenses serve us really
well.

230
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Sometimes they keep us alive.
Yeah, because we actually need

231
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:14,560
those in order to cope with the
pain or cope with the.

232
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Be functional.
Yeah.

233
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,960
And, and, and so those, those
addictions, those things that

234
00:11:19,960 --> 00:11:23,800
come up are actually really,
really they serve a purpose.

235
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,160
Like they all come up for no
reason.

236
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:27,800
But over time those things
switch.

237
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:31,240
And because what we used to
actually keep us alive in some

238
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:35,400
cases actually becomes the
things that starts killing us in

239
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:37,720
our relationships and our
ability to connect with others

240
00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,440
something.
That serves you ends up.

241
00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:41,040
You end up serving it.
Later, it ends.

242
00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,840
Up enslaving you in a way and
some of those things.

243
00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:46,240
I had a lot of those things and
and there's no way to know what

244
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,720
they are until you start seeing
the consequences your work.

245
00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:52,160
And your career can serve you.
It gives you this money, it

246
00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,160
gives you the security, gives
you the safety and everything

247
00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:56,600
like that.
But then it's like instead of

248
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,120
you owning it, it starts to own
you.

249
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It starts to possess you instead
of it serving you.

250
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,280
And it's like, oh, it's serving
me.

251
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,800
It's helping me.
It's making my life easier.

252
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It's giving me health insurance.
It's doing all these things for

253
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me now.
It's like, Oh no, no, no.

254
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,360
Now I'm beholden to it.
I'm serving the thing instead of

255
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,920
it's serving.
Me, I, I feel fairly confident

256
00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,520
in saying no one has the
self-awareness at a deep enough

257
00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:18,240
level to know if they're in that
situation or not existing.

258
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:23,880
You know, it takes a third party
who is trained and can listen

259
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,960
and knows what to look for and
knows the right questions to ask

260
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,280
that can bring you to a point
you're like, oh, shoot, you

261
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,400
know, whoa, what do I, what do I
do now?

262
00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,840
It's not fun.
It's not, it's not easy, but

263
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,880
it's good.
And, and so wow.

264
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:42,920
So my wife has those things.
All of us have those things.

265
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:44,080
You have those things.
I don't know what yours are.

266
00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:47,040
I don't need to know, but but
all of us, like I don't know,

267
00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:49,040
you can get through life without
being wounded in some way.

268
00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:52,600
And those wounds and the things
you have to protect yourself

269
00:12:52,600 --> 00:12:55,400
eventually impact, usually
negatively your, your

270
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:58,920
relationships and how you
perceive the world, why you

271
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:00,440
work, what drives you.
It doesn't.

272
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,360
And there can be a lot of good
stuff in there, like reaching

273
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:05,640
people and changing lives, but
there also could be a lot of

274
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:09,040
stuff in that's that's not.
And so when I, to answer your

275
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:11,240
question, when I, I came home,
because my wife and I were both

276
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,160
in the middle of, of working
through some stuff individually,

277
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,160
separately, she has her wounds,
I have mine that we're working

278
00:13:17,160 --> 00:13:20,560
on healing and, and those were
impacting our relationship

279
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:24,800
together too.
We've been married 17 years, 7

280
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,760
kids.
Wow, that period of time, 7 kids

281
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,280
in eight years.
That was an intense season of

282
00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:30,280
life.
It's a lot.

283
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,320
So you have.
A couple of twins, though.

284
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,240
One set of.
Twins.

285
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:34,080
One set of twins.
OK.

286
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,840
Twins.
Yeah, so and so is in the middle

287
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:39,320
of that.
I came back and I was just like,

288
00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:41,480
I don't know.
And we had some pretty rough

289
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,080
phone calls and conversations
while I was gone to and, and she

290
00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,680
was very hurt by me and others
in the past that I was like

291
00:13:49,680 --> 00:13:51,840
digging a knife into those
wounds unknowingly, not

292
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,360
intentionally.
It's just like, that's just,

293
00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:56,040
it's just you lived with someone
for 17 years.

294
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,000
You know, there's no wonder the
divorce rate is so high and

295
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:03,800
people who don't get divorced
are so unhappy and are having

296
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,880
affairs and things outside of it
is because they don't, they're

297
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:06,880
not working through these
issues.

298
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,680
Would would you say that like
content creation took you away

299
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:15,040
from being present in your
marriage and in your family as

300
00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,720
your career escalated?
I would not say that.

301
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:23,640
I would say it it made me feel
valid outside of where I should

302
00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:26,440
have been getting my main
validation from, which is family

303
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,240
inside.
Yeah, the people who actually

304
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:33,200
know and care about the real me,
not the person I was delivering

305
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,400
to the people.
Around the utility that you.

306
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:37,640
Provide like, yeah, the
usefulness.

307
00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:38,960
Like what?
We're, we're men, We're

308
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,680
validated by our utility.
We want to be useful.

309
00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,480
We want to be helpful because
what's the point of us being

310
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,200
around is how we think what we
don't, we're not validated by

311
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:50,680
just being present or existing.
We have to be functional.

312
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,320
That's just how men develop
psychologically.

313
00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,400
And so when that source of your
validation, a lot of people,

314
00:14:57,400 --> 00:15:00,000
they get it from their work and
their employee.

315
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,000
If they're an entrepreneur, they
get it from running the

316
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
business.
Content creators, we're getting

317
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,920
it from, yes, the business we
built, but the fact that we also

318
00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,760
have this collective mass
audience.

319
00:15:07,760 --> 00:15:09,760
Sometimes we're full time
containers, this massive

320
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:12,360
audience, the if we're speakers,
these cheering crowds.

321
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,560
And there is something addictive
and seductive about that because

322
00:15:15,560 --> 00:15:17,840
there is a dopamine here.
We all want that.

323
00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:19,880
And needed and special and that
is that's why.

324
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,600
Everyone wants to be a musician
and a rock star.

325
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,400
And I think because you want you
want that.

326
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,880
Everyone wants that.
Like secretly everyone wants

327
00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:27,200
that.
And then there are some of us

328
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:29,040
who publicly actually achieve
it.

329
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,480
But there is a cost.
Everything's equipment exchange.

330
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:34,200
There's a price that you pay,
Yeah, some people go a little

331
00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:35,400
too far.
Some people sell their souls.

332
00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:38,160
Some of the creators I know are
most successful are actually the

333
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,720
most lonely people in the world.
Oh, yeah.

334
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,560
Because they don't know.
Do people like me because of me

335
00:15:42,560 --> 00:15:46,240
or because I have these cool
toys or because I have this

336
00:15:46,240 --> 00:15:48,320
audience or.
Yeah, because I'm popular and,

337
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,880
and, and they're just hanging
out with me because I make them

338
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:55,080
feel special, correct.
And, and and so it's a very,

339
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:58,800
it's a big tangled web, But so
there is a dark side to all

340
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,440
this.
But I do think it can be this.

341
00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:01,840
Episode The Dark Side of
YouTube.

342
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:07,720
It can be addressed by embracing
humility personally, by

343
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,720
embracing A teachable spirits
and attitude.

344
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,320
And I think one of the best
investments you can make in your

345
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:18,320
career, just whether it's on or
off YouTube is, is becoming a

346
00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:22,480
healthy individual by letting
like giving someone else access

347
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,200
to poke at the things that you
don't want to address, you know,

348
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,600
and the things that you deep
down.

349
00:16:28,760 --> 00:16:30,400
And even if you don't like, I
didn't even know what all my

350
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:31,840
issues were.
My therapist was playing out,

351
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,600
but I knew what the what the
symptoms were.

352
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,280
And even just poking at the
symptoms with someone with

353
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:39,400
someone else was like helpful
enough to like, yeah, get me to

354
00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:40,840
a place where I want to start
addressing this.

355
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,320
I'll start dealing with this
stuff.

356
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,880
And so anyway, I'll have to Fast
forward.

357
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,440
I kind of want to end it on dark
note.

358
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,360
No, no.
And I think we've still got some

359
00:16:48,360 --> 00:16:51,000
time, but this is fascinating.
Yeah.

360
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,680
So I guess to kind of continue
that story before we get to the

361
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:59,320
light at the end of the tunnel
is that I stopped making content

362
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:04,880
and team kept going and I start
focusing on the things that we

363
00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,599
all say actually matter, but we
don't live our lives typically

364
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:09,560
as they actually do matter.
Yeah.

365
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,240
Like we would say health and
fitness matters.

366
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:16,160
And, and, and honestly, part of
my, my journey is like, I'm

367
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,720
almost the heaviest I've ever
been right now and I'm getting

368
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,520
it.
But I'm just last week started

369
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,319
to be able to get to an
emotional place where I can

370
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:28,160
address that because part of my
story is like, I gave up some of

371
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:33,440
the things that I was coping
with, which is great, but I took

372
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,920
on instead, like food.
And comfort food, that was a big

373
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,880
thing for a lot of people in the
last three years during the

374
00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:40,960
pandemic like.
Yeah, it's food is emotional,

375
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,440
yeah, matter what you say.
So not that you personally, but

376
00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,480
I mean.
You know, Well, no, I mean,

377
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:49,760
yeah, but I mean, I gained like
like 1215 lbs during COVID 15.

378
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,840
Like I gained a weight during
COVID that I was unhappy with.

379
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:55,200
I've like since been starting to
finally shed a lot of that

380
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,520
weight.
I've turned in the muscle.

381
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,080
I've started working out because
and my mental health improved

382
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:02,040
dramatically from from doing
that.

383
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,120
Then I feel a lot better.
I was depressed for the three

384
00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:05,960
years of the pandemic, Tim, like
a lot of people, I've been

385
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,360
talking more about that, being a
little bit more open about that.

386
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:11,880
But everybody copes and it seems
and everyone struggles.

387
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,640
And in this industry, a lot of
people, the reality is the

388
00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:18,200
audience gets the best of us and
sometimes the people in our life

389
00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,800
don't.
And that's something that I

390
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,960
think a lot of creators don't
realize that they're doing like

391
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,480
subconsciously is that they're
giving their best to these this

392
00:18:26,480 --> 00:18:28,440
audience, these people who
essentially like, you know,

393
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:31,080
quote UN quote, help them become
help, quote UN quote, make them,

394
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,800
so to speak.
But then the family that

395
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,480
supported them through that, the
people in their life that

396
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,120
support through that, the
relationships and everything

397
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:41,480
like that, those get neglected
without people even realizing

398
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,080
and noticing.
And then the people around you,

399
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,120
they don't want to be a burden.
They don't want to be a bother.

400
00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,480
They don't want to distract you
from your goals and your dreams.

401
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,160
So they sacrifice things that
you don't even know about unless

402
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:53,880
you really, you know, create a
scenario where they can open up

403
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,360
to you.
Yeah, my, my, my weight wasn't

404
00:18:56,360 --> 00:19:01,720
due to COVID.
Mine was due to not as a kid,

405
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,440
not learning how to
appropriately handle emotions.

406
00:19:04,520 --> 00:19:06,040
And so I learned not to have
any.

407
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:10,400
And that was, I mean, I didn't
think that at the time.

408
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,760
I was like, I can be happy, I
can be angry and there's like

409
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:16,120
superficial levels of that, but
like to actually appropriately

410
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,960
be able to handle my emotions,
which made it difficult for me

411
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:21,880
to appropriately handle like my
wife's emotions and kids and

412
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,760
stuff too.
So, but so anyway, so I ended up

413
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:29,400
doing is like do do the doctor
or the therapist.

414
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,880
It wasn't his recommendation,
but I had to give something up.

415
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,240
So give a content creation.
And at that time we had a pretty

416
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:41,160
solid YouTube growth agency.
We're working with about 600 ish

417
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:45,200
clients a year doing a lot of
really cool stuff.

418
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:48,000
And so it's pretty we, we, we
were, I was able to coast, you

419
00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:51,320
know, interesting.
So I did pull way way the heck

420
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,160
back.
On how big was your team that

421
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:56,320
was supporting that?
I was 11 at that time. 11 at 11.

422
00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:58,680
11 yeah.
So we put, we had some good

423
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,440
systems and processes together
which a whole other conversation

424
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,240
for biz dev like you need like
SOP, standard operating

425
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,040
procedures, all that kind of
stuff to make it sustainable.

426
00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,320
So yeah, we did all that.
So it was good.

427
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:09,440
It was.
It was.

428
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,640
And that lets you step away.
That let me back off a lot and

429
00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:26,040
focus on things that I to and
and then going into 2020 what to

430
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,600
try to figure it out.
Yeah, no, so it was yeah, a

431
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,800
little over a year ago now she
has 2022.

432
00:20:32,040 --> 00:20:36,120
I had a company reach out and
they're like, hey, we'd like to

433
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:39,000
acquire you guys, here's what
we're doing.

434
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:43,720
And the CEO of that company A.
Good friend of ours.

435
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,120
No, not not who you're thinking
of.

436
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,480
Yeah, yeah.
Different company.

437
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,600
Different company.
Yeah.

438
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,880
As a tech startup.
Not not in the YouTube space.

439
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:54,720
I see.
Yeah.

440
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,280
Flew out to my house and put
some numbers on the white board.

441
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:01,480
And I like, I never thought
about an exit before.

442
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,680
I mean, I had thought about it,
but I wasn't like not pursuing.

443
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:10,720
And I was like, I don't know,
like, brought my wife out to the

444
00:21:10,720 --> 00:21:12,520
whiteboard kind of like.
So what would look like?

445
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,160
What do you think?
And this is not exactly what she

446
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:16,800
said, but this is how it
impacted me.

447
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:21,600
In my words, is she said she's
like, Tim, is this going to take

448
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,320
you away from our family more?
And I was like, yeah, I think

449
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:26,720
so.
And she's like, well, more money

450
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:29,600
doesn't change our lives, but
not having you around as much.

451
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,400
Well, wow.
And that's my summary of it.

452
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,200
Yeah.
And I was like, shoot.

453
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,000
You're hearing that make you
feel.

454
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:37,600
Not protected.
Yeah.

455
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,400
Like if by that time, my wife
and I like now my my wife and I

456
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,680
are spot where we're doing
better than we were on our

457
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,520
honeymoon.
Like, wow, it was it's it's like

458
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,960
it's been so good, so fruitful.
It's hard work, but it's good

459
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:52,560
work, right?
And usually I have a bunch of

460
00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,000
options in front of me.
Like what do I do with this

461
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,040
situation?
I look at like, which is the

462
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:57,760
hardest option?
And that's usually the right

463
00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,600
one, you know, Right.
So.

464
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,760
That's a good way.
To look so yeah so I was like,

465
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,400
well, I don't know.
So I told the guy let me put

466
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:06,840
this on hold for a second and
let me think about this.

467
00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,720
So I started reaching out to
other friends of mine who are,

468
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,240
you know, are more familiar with
mergers and acquisitions,

469
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,680
including the friend of ours
that yes that we have.

470
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:19,120
And before long I had five
companies that were interested.

471
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:23,160
YouTube even reached out as
well, but they were they were

472
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:26,640
they move way too slow for me.
So that can be like I was like I

473
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,120
already have offers from this
other like if you're gonna do

474
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,040
something, you gotta do
something like.

475
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,040
Tube likes us.
And they do slow for us.

476
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,800
Well that was an acquisitions
department and that would look

477
00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,720
very different.
But anyway, so three offers for

478
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:42,400
three different companies before
long.

479
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:48,280
So this is the part about the
part is when I when I was

480
00:22:48,360 --> 00:22:50,680
processing all this, should I
sell or not sell?

481
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:54,400
What I didn't realize was just
how much I wanted it.

482
00:22:54,400 --> 00:22:57,200
I wanted a new challenge.
I wanted to do something

483
00:22:57,400 --> 00:23:00,720
different.
And and one of the downsides you

484
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,320
could call it out of being a
creator is like it's your full

485
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,240
time gig.
And especially when you start

486
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,120
hiring A-Team.
I got.

487
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,480
I had.
People rely on you.

488
00:23:07,480 --> 00:23:10,560
Yeah, and there's eleven other
families that depend on this for

489
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,560
their livelihood, you know.
And then we get the itch to go

490
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:15,680
crazy.
Or do something else like.

491
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:17,120
I just.
I can't do that anymore just

492
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,320
because I want, because it
impacts more people than just

493
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:23,400
our family.
And I can't just go get a new

494
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:27,280
job because I felt stuck, and I
didn't realize how stuck I felt

495
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,760
until I had an opportunity to
get.

496
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,880
Out the golden handcuffs.
Yes, that's a good way of

497
00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:32,720
putting it.
Yeah.

498
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:39,240
It was like on the outside I'm
living the dream we have we had

499
00:23:39,240 --> 00:23:42,160
at the time we still have today.
It's like it's a nine bedroom

500
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,840
house with the in ground pool, 7
bathrooms, 5 car garage is.

501
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,400
Now envisioned.
My brain is not envisioning

502
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:52,160
golden handcuffs with like
diamond encrusted YouTube play.

503
00:23:52,560 --> 00:23:57,840
Buttons it's yeah, and I'm not
saying that to like brag, no,

504
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,720
I'm saying that just to kind of
paint the picture of where we're

505
00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,200
at.
Like that's really hard to give

506
00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:06,960
up.
And, and so the, the, the

507
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,200
journey of going through these
negotiations and, and

508
00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,680
entertaining this idea of I got
3 offers on the table from three

509
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:19,120
different companies and, and
that was an emotional thing to

510
00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:20,520
me.
I didn't know was there was.

511
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,760
I'm just tired and I am part of
me being a creator in the

512
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:28,760
beginning is a lot of fun and
even perpetually it can be, but

513
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:31,120
there does need at some point.
It's not sustainable

514
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,640
perpetually.
If you get into it because you

515
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:37,360
really like new challenges and
you like, like creating, you

516
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:40,400
like expressing yourself.
At some point, that's no longer

517
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,880
how you want to express
yourself.

518
00:24:41,880 --> 00:24:44,000
That's not really what does it
for you.

519
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:47,400
That's not really a challenge,
you know, and, and the thing

520
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:49,680
that you used to be really
passionate about in terms of

521
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,240
what that did for you, no longer
doing that for you, but you

522
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,360
can't say no to it anymore if
you've got 11 other people whose

523
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,160
jobs depend on that.
And and so I didn't realize how

524
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:01,000
stuck I felt until going through
this this process.

525
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:04,920
And so September of last year I
chose to sell.

526
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:08,680
To vid IQ.
Yep, which is awesome.

527
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,560
It's a good friend, Rob.
Yeah.

528
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:13,560
Oh my gosh, like.
He's a really OG in the space

529
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,080
and everything like that.
I've been known Rob, for over a

530
00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:16,880
decade.
Yeah.

531
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,280
And that's probably what made
the process for this acquisition

532
00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:22,120
really, really helpful.
Is that you know I I know his

533
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,240
wife and his.
Kids, someone who genuinely used

534
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,160
like, you know, that you know,
and he cares about you and trust

535
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,680
and everything and you know, has
your best interest at heart

536
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:33,080
outside of business, yeah.
And has a really good match for

537
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:37,600
like what we were able to
accomplish with with scalable

538
00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:41,880
YouTube coaching in our agency
and what they are moving into

539
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:46,000
with scalable coaching.
Yeah, the the vision at bit IQ.

540
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,840
Now we just nailed this.
This is the first time we gotta

541
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,520
say it publicly.
Oh yeah, hey, exclusive and I do

542
00:25:50,600 --> 00:25:52,280
I can say it publicly.
It's fine.

543
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:57,160
Now our the vision is to be able
to supply a human.

544
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:02,000
Let me refer it the exact way we
wrote we wrote it is to be is a

545
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:05,760
coach for every creator.
So, and that includes human

546
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,880
coaches, you know, so every
creator not only is getting

547
00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:12,400
access to like suite of tools
and things that they used to go

548
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,840
to their channel, but a coach to
work with you through

549
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,040
curriculum, working through
material, working through the

550
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,200
tools to work on you with your
content strategy and everything.

551
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,800
So making that more accessible
to a large group of people, I

552
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,640
mean, working with us, you know,
at a certain point got wildly

553
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,240
expensive for some people, but
making it more accessible to

554
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:30,400
people that have that.
I don't want to have somebody

555
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,760
have somebody that's like
invested in you, somebody who's

556
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,440
looking at your stuff, give you
perspective.

557
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:36,600
It's very.
Valuable it's going to be

558
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:44,120
extremely affordable and and so
my task is to figure out how to

559
00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:48,000
do that for 2 million weekly
active users creators you know

560
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:51,520
it's one thing to do that for
635 clients we work with in 20

561
00:26:51,520 --> 00:26:52,840
so that's what.
You mean when you talk about

562
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:53,800
scalability?
Yeah.

563
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:58,560
It's like if the ratios that we
figured out there, I think it

564
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,000
will translate, especially with
that IQ now building some tech

565
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,280
around some of the stuff.
Yeah, the AI stuff I think is

566
00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,520
very fascinating.
Yeah, that's gonna be a huge,

567
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:10,520
huge part of it too.
But but anyway, So what that did

568
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:12,600
for me is like, that's a new
mountain to climb.

569
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:15,560
And that that honors all the
intellectual property that we've

570
00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,160
developed all the years that
that honors.

571
00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:21,520
Like what my team I've hired
with their zones of geniuses are

572
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,920
what they love doing.
They get to do this at a bigger

573
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:27,160
scale.
And, and so now I'm in a place

574
00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:32,840
after, you know, several dark,
tough, challenging years where

575
00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,720
personally I'm healthier, which
made me make better decisions

576
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:39,600
and be able to find a way to
just to get out while still

577
00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:44,360
honoring everything that I, that
I invested into in, well, for

578
00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:46,160
what you say, 16 years of my
life or something.

579
00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:50,880
Like that 17 years, So almost 2
decades, my friend.

580
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:54,000
Yeah, I didn't even think I was
that old, but here we are.

581
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,080
All right.
And for 42, so yeah.

582
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:02,840
So yeah, it's it's a pretty hard
pivot, but I feel more alive.

583
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:07,600
I love what I'm doing for
creators and I love what we're

584
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:12,200
looking forward to hiring
potentially 500 to 1000 YouTube

585
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,080
coaches here in the next few
years.

586
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,400
No, that sounds excellent.
That sounds work.

587
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,120
OK.
So that makes sense in terms of

588
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,880
like some of the scalability for
that meant the many people

589
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,520
you're talking about.
That makes sense, yeah.

590
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,920
Yeah.
So it's it's going to be a fun

591
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,960
ride.
And yeah, so I'm doing much

592
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,200
better and I only have to be on
camera when I want to and when I

593
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,920
get to hang out with cool people
like Roberto.

594
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,560
I did.
I do have my own personal

595
00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:36,440
podcasts now, but I only do that
when I want.

596
00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:38,720
To and I think that's more that
one talks more about family and

597
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:41,800
about this kind of stuff.
Yeah, it's tentatively titled

598
00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:46,000
Business Family Marriage with
Tim Schmoyer, but Pat Flynn gave

599
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,960
me a really good idea for you.
I registered domain on the spot.

600
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,720
It's it's, it's a family
centered business.

601
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,080
I love that.
I love you do Okay, I gotta run

602
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,840
that by a few people first.
I'm like, that's a much better

603
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:02,040
way of saying it than basically
I'm talking about the lessons

604
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,640
I've learned from growing a
fruitful and profitable

605
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,160
business.
Those lessons also translate to

606
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:09,880
growing a fruitful family.
What about?

607
00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:12,760
Even just calling it the family
business with Tim.

608
00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,200
Schmoyer well, because family
business to most people means

609
00:29:15,520 --> 00:29:18,040
like your family works in
business together and you hate

610
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,560
it OK, that's fair.
So it's not a family business.

611
00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:24,320
It's like doing business for the
sake of serving your family

612
00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:27,800
rather than sacrificing your
family for the sake of pursuing

613
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:30,200
the so dream the.
Family centered business with

614
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,640
Tim Schmoyer is like that
sounds.

615
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:34,440
Yeah, I, I just registered the
domain last night on my phone

616
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:35,480
while I was standing there with
him.

617
00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:38,760
So that's the man, see?
That's why, like, yeah, he.

618
00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:41,760
Just said it in passing and I
was like, yeah no dude, that was

619
00:29:41,760 --> 00:29:43,160
way better than what I've come
up with.

620
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,160
Pat Pat has like genius just
oozing out of him to where he

621
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,160
can just like just start
slanging it everywhere.

622
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,040
It's like, it's great, like.
So anyway, there's like the

623
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:53,480
tunnel, but it is a process, it
is a journey.

624
00:29:53,480 --> 00:29:59,200
And if you're going into this
creator endeavor as a career and

625
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,400
as a life journey, it's
absolutely worth it.

626
00:30:02,400 --> 00:30:06,800
But just keep your, your motives
in check as much as you can and

627
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,640
make sure you have someone else
speaking into it.

628
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:11,840
Even if you don't think like you
need it, even if you don't

629
00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:15,160
notice the consequences of
certain beliefs and behaviors

630
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:17,840
that we have, I think it's
absolutely worth it in order to

631
00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:21,960
have a fulfilling, sustainable
career on this platform.

632
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:26,640
What's your best advice to
creators starting out that feel

633
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:29,080
demotivated?
Well, if you feel demotivated, I

634
00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,280
don't think there's any.
Like what do you mean demotivate

635
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:33,080
because it's not working or
devoted made it because I don't

636
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,080
know if I want to do this or
what.

637
00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:35,840
Because they feel it's not
working, they're not seeing

638
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,400
results as fast as they would
like.

639
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,640
They're feeling discouraged, so
to speak, because that seems to

640
00:30:39,640 --> 00:30:41,720
be one of the biggest.
Like I've all the like

641
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,680
challenges.
I've done so many polls, so many

642
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:45,120
surveys.
That seems to be one of the top

643
00:30:45,120 --> 00:30:47,520
three every single time.
That's a good question.

644
00:30:48,520 --> 00:30:52,200
I would say without having any
additional time to think about

645
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:55,560
it while I delay answering,
Yeah, I don't know.

646
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,440
Here's what comes from same.
Stalls for lightning round

647
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:59,440
questions.
Here's what comes to mind for

648
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:01,560
me.
One, there's no, there's no like

649
00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:04,760
you don't have to do it like you
can give it up and there's no

650
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:07,000
shame in that.
There's no dishonor in that.

651
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,080
You gave it your best attempt.
You gave it your best shot and

652
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,520
these are the results you got.
I think the way they feel

653
00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:16,560
discouraged is like, maybe I'm
not saying it's true for

654
00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:21,720
everyone, but it's like, I if it
hurts worse if you're trying to

655
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:24,440
put yourself out there and
people are saying nothing, like

656
00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,840
that's worse.
And that becomes a like really

657
00:31:26,840 --> 00:31:28,760
deep discouragement.
And for some people, I think it

658
00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:31,080
makes you try harder because you
can't take that rejection and

659
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:33,880
you wouldn't want to, right?
So you try harder and you push

660
00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,520
harder.
Like, no, please, this isn't.

661
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,600
And maybe I'm reading into it a
little.

662
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:39,560
Bit what's worse, being rejected
or being ignored I.

663
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:44,960
Don't know.
For me, well I'm really good at

664
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,560
turning off emotions so I could
deal with either one, but I'm

665
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,040
not saying that's the healthy
thing to do.

666
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,200
She's a spoiler.
That's not that's not the

667
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,760
healthy thing to do.
I'm really good at telling

668
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:58,320
people where they can shove it
and move on, but I rejected.

669
00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:02,640
For me I think I would rather
feel rejected because at least

670
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,960
then I know where I stand.
If I'm ignored, then I don't.

671
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:08,160
If I'm ignored, I don't even
rank with you.

672
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,040
I don't even have any gravity.
I'm like, I'm, you know, I don't

673
00:32:11,040 --> 00:32:13,840
like if I'm ignored, like
rejection.

674
00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:16,720
You could just say that value is
not for me or I don't like

675
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,040
think, but at least you're
acknowledged.

676
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,800
If you're rejected.
If you're ignored, you're not

677
00:32:19,800 --> 00:32:22,120
even acknowledged.
You're not even like worth

678
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,600
anything or present is how it
feels, how you internalize.

679
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,440
I would say that's how I think.
That's how small that's.

680
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,440
Going to be a different answer
for different people.

681
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:30,680
Though I think so, but I think
that's why a lot of smaller

682
00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:34,200
content creators feel is they
feel like I'm not even worth

683
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,160
nagging.
I'm not even worth dunking on.

684
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,120
Like it's like.
Yeah.

685
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:39,280
And I think that's what leads to
the the demotivation.

686
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,760
And so that's why if that if you
feel like that's true for you

687
00:32:44,200 --> 00:32:46,080
and then not and the lack of
motivation is coming from a

688
00:32:46,080 --> 00:32:51,240
place of not feeling noticed
enough or recognized enough for

689
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,920
your efforts, then I think that
would be a good place to maybe

690
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,480
stop creating on purpose and
address some of those issues

691
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,880
first.
So that when you come back and

692
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,240
create, you're doing it from a
place like Ryan Trahan says,

693
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:07,240
like as a gift to you, Not as
like, I feel pressure to make

694
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,800
this perform well, but like, I'm
just here's here's what I made.

695
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,160
It's a gift.
No pressure on me, no pressure

696
00:33:13,160 --> 00:33:14,840
on you.
It's just like freely given.

697
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:17,000
Put this out in the world.
Freely given without

698
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:18,360
expectation.
Exactly.

699
00:33:18,520 --> 00:33:21,720
I think that deep down a lot of
people they've given themselves

700
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,840
such unreasonable expectations
and they're being hard on

701
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:26,920
themselves.
And The thing is, but if you

702
00:33:27,160 --> 00:33:29,280
like, cuz a lot of people say,
when we say, Oh, give what I

703
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:31,960
expected, like they, they think
there's some gimmick or some

704
00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:33,720
trick to that.
But what it really is is it's a

705
00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:36,680
gift to yourself.
Because you're saying, I don't

706
00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,240
have the pressure to perform.
That's a big anxiety trigger.

707
00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:43,120
The pressure to perform when I
turn on a camera, I always feel,

708
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,880
I always feel it and there is an
anxiety trigger.

709
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,200
I get over it.
Obviously it's like, but I think

710
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:52,960
that a lot of creators would
feel better if they just did

711
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,720
something because it is
interesting enough to do by

712
00:33:56,720 --> 00:33:58,720
itself to feel rewarded by doing
it.

713
00:33:58,800 --> 00:34:01,160
Yes, that is a hard place to get
to.

714
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:03,240
It's.
Extremely hard place to get to.

715
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:06,440
That is, that would be.
What you say isn't like

716
00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,159
sometimes choosing the hardest
option.

717
00:34:08,159 --> 00:34:11,360
Is the best often, Not always,
but as a general principle is

718
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,360
usually the right place to go.
The way I think about it now is

719
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:20,280
my job isn't to make a viewer
feel a certain way or like me or

720
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,600
whatever.
My job, and I can say this more

721
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:27,320
genuinely now that I used to be
able to, yeah, is to, at a high

722
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,440
level, the best way to have it
is like restoring order from

723
00:34:30,440 --> 00:34:32,960
chaos.
So in other words, there's

724
00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:34,960
something in your life that's
not quite right.

725
00:34:35,120 --> 00:34:37,280
There's something in your life
that could be better.

726
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,040
How do I make content that helps
address that and makes it right,

727
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,960
makes it better in some way?
Not that's my responsibility to

728
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,840
do that, but at least equips you
in some way.

729
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:48,960
Or to be helpful, yeah.
Something in some way to do

730
00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,320
that.
And and so when I think about

731
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:56,719
making content now, like in my
personal podcasts for like I'm

732
00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:00,560
thinking about it like, here's
here's a listener or a viewer

733
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:02,640
who has like this thing is not
right in their life.

734
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,680
How can I help speak into that
and provide something tools or

735
00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:07,600
something to help them make that
better.

736
00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:11,600
And so now it's like it comes
back to Ryan's gift analogies

737
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:16,400
like how can I just help and
serve with without it needing to

738
00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:19,360
reflect on me in any way.
And like I said, that's a hard

739
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,040
place to get to.
But I think I am more genuinely

740
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,680
at a place where I can say that
comply and.

741
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:26,920
Well, I'm happy that you managed
to get there and everything like

742
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,240
that.
I know it was not an easy

743
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:30,560
journey.
Yeah.

744
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaking of journeys, the
journey on this episode has come

745
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:36,000
to.
And Tim, where can they find?

746
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:41,120
You can go to timshmoyer.com for
pretty much everything.

747
00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,640
And I say that because Business
Family marriage.com might not be

748
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:45,760
a thing by the time you see
this.

749
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:48,440
I don't know.
Yeah, but if you search for the

750
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:52,480
Business Family Marriage Podcast
or the Family Centered Business,

751
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:53,760
I'm not sure whose name I'll go
with yet.

752
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,320
Yeah, but Tim swarry.com will
have it all right there.

753
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,920
So just.
Go there and you can probably

754
00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,360
just type his name into any
platform and you'll probably be

755
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:01,680
taken care of and everything
like that.

756
00:36:01,680 --> 00:36:02,960
Yeah, he might find me other
places.

757
00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:05,080
Yeah.
So, yeah, but that's it for this

758
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:06,160
one.
Stay awesome.

759
00:36:06,160 --> 00:36:07,360
We'll catch you next time.
Thanks guys.